How spies develop and use instant rapport

By Michael D.

Former Clandestine Officer, CIA, DIA, NSA

Espionage, like many businesses and personal relationships, operates in the strict dimensional constraints of time and distance.

Spies must exploit time and contort distances.

A good example comes from a short mission that I conducted in Northern Europe.

My mission had very tight time constraints.

My target, or intended asset, was a PhD mathematician and world-class cryptographer.

His country had granted him permission to present his paper at an international symposium of his peers.

I had never met him, and no American intelligence officer had ever been able to approach him.

To the knowledge of American Intelligence, this man was allowed outside of his homeland just twice in the two decades of our mathematicians following his career.

We knew that his mind and mathematical developments were exceptional, and his published research was on par with the top minds in American cryptography.

I was briefed on his field of expertise (I pretended to understand), but none of that was important to me.

I paid attention when they told me personal things about him.

They had garnered incredible personal details about him. They were more like stalkers than fellow mathematicians.

Our operatives had intercepted his private correspondence with some of his closest colleagues, both within his home country and in fellow communist countries.

As they spoke about him as though he was someone they knew, I began to feel like I was getting to know him myself.

I felt that I could see what things meant the most to him, what drove his passions, and what scared the daylights out of him.

I was learning which buttons to push, and how hard and long to push them.

By the second day of the conference, I had figured out who he was and how to get close to him.

I followed him around and eavesdropped on his conversations and added that intelligence to what I had already learned about him.

When I found the right time to make initial contact, I knew it had to be just right.

I had to say the right things and make him feel compelled to meet up with me despite the potential risks that such a meeting could mean for him.

I stepped close to him, reached out my hand, and as he shook my hand, I smiled and called him by his nickname.

I said, “You don’t know me, but I know about you. I am the one who can get (names of his children) into American Ivy League schools, protect your wife, and arrange for your safe passage whenever you are ready. Just nod if you are interested.”

After a brief moment, he smiled and nodded. I smiled and walked away.

I knew what to do from there.

He would be expecting me to make secret contact with him, and I could tell that he liked what I had to say.

Had he not spoken excellent English, if he did not recognize a firm handshake as a greeting among allies…

Or, if I had miscalculated his highest desires and greatest fears, stood too close to him and alerted his security detail…

Or if I had attempted to initiate a conversation with him, he would not have followed through and become one of our most productive and helpful assets of the Cold War intelligence game.

However, that brief encounter put the wheels in motion to fulfill his dreams, assuage his fears, and provide lifelong security for himself and his family.

It also allowed us to stay far ahead of that enemy’s cryptographic developments and continue to protect our own.

These are simple skills that you can develop yourself.

Watch salespersons, politicians, and public speakers.

Pay attention to their movements, eye contact, posture, and words.

And learn to be aware of when you are being “worked.”

Spotting deception and lies is key to building quick rapport and staying safe while doing so.

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