Ava M. is a 15-year-old girl from Naples, Florida.
When she was 13, during the pandemic, Ava started a TikTok account.
On the account, she posted lip-sync and dance videos like countless other teenagers.
Within a couple of years, she had over 1.2 mil followers on TikTok and more than 300,000 on Instagram.
A follower, an 18-year-old from Maryland who went by Eric, started leaving comments.
The comments were, in Ava’s words, creepy for a 13-year-old to be getting.
Ava blocked him, but he created fresh profiles and kept messaging her.
The family blocked him again and Ava’s father Rob texted Eric directly, telling him she was a minor and to quit contacting her.
Eric then started requesting explicit photos.
The family assumed Eric was too far away and too young to follow through on any of it.
But they were wrong.
Eric got hold of Ava’s personal information, including her residential address, through a classmate.
And, on the morning of July 10, 2021, Eric showed up at the family’s front door in Naples, Florida.
He had driven over 1,000 miles from Maryland, carrying a shotgun.
He fired through the front door.
Ava’s mother thought her daughter was dead.
Rob, Ava’s father and a retired police lieutenant from North Jersey, took his own firearm, confronted Eric, and shot him.
Eric later died of his wounds.
Authorities did not file charges against Rob.
After the incident, the family moved to a different house and Ava began homeschooling.
It later came out that a classmate had also been involved in stalking her and may have helped the attacker plan the crime.
This shows just how little information is needed for someone to locate you and your family.
Ava did not post her address online or share her school in her videos.
She was just a teenager posting dance videos.
But the information was out there, and someone was willing to go to extreme lengths to obtain it.
This is why protecting your personal information is among the most overlooked parts of staying safe.
You do not have to be a social media star to be a target.
Every day, regular people broadcast personal details without a thought.
Consider what a stranger can learn about you from a quick conversation at the grocery store and a glance at your car.
Your child’s age. What school your kids attend. The neighborhood you live in…
Whether you are likely armed or not based on your political stickers. Where you work out based on the key chain tag dangling from your keys.
Add in the stick-figure family on the back window and a bumper sticker with your kid’s school, and a predator has enough to follow you to your front door.
This is how criminals pick targets.
With that in mind, these are the benefits and drawbacks of going low-profile with your personal information.
You become a harder target:
Predators, thieves, and stalkers look for easy marks.
So, the less information you put out there, the more work they have to do to find you.
Most criminals will move on to someone easier.
It protects your children:
Kids do not understand what information is dangerous to share.
Teaching your family to guard personal details is among the most important things you can do as a parent.
You can be polite and private at the same time:
You do not have to be rude to protect yourself.
When a stranger at the store says your daughter is cute, just say thank you.
When they ask if she is your sole child, give a vague answer and redirect the conversation.
A short reply and a smile are what you need to shut down a line of questions without being unfriendly.
It’s zero expense:
Unlike most survival tools, going low-profile is zero expense.
You do not need to secure any equipment.
You just need to quit handing over what you already have.
Drawbacks to going low-profile:
It feels unnatural at first:
Most of us were raised to be friendly and candid in conversation.
So, holding back personal details can feel awkward or even rude.
It takes practice to deflect questions without seeming cold.
But it becomes second nature once you start paying attention.
It requires daily awareness:
Going low-profile is not a single decision you make once.
It means thinking about what you wear, what is on your car, what you post online, and what you say to people you do not know well.
It means checking what your kids are sharing on their devices.
Kids and teens will push back:
Young people want to be on social media.
They want followers and attention.
Telling a teenager to limit what they share online may not be a fun conversation.
But Ava’s story is proof that the conversation is worth having.
A few things you can do right away:
Strip bumper stickers from your car that reveal your family size and school identifiers, etc.
Pull gym tags, employer badges, and membership cards from your key chain.
Audit your social media accounts and delete any posts that show your daily routine, your residence, your travel plans, or your children’s faces.
Teach your children to never give their full identity, school, address, or cell number to anyone they do not know (whether online or in person).
When talking to strangers, practice giving vague answers and turning the questions back on them.
Information is the most dangerous tool a predator can have.
You do not need to be famous to be a target. You just need to be visible.
The less people know about you, the safer you and your family are.
